Saturday, December 20, 2008

Dear Zander:

Last night at bedtime you cried, "I don't ever want to have a baby again." And I wanted to cry in return, "Me neither!" Instead I gave Cassie to your dad, followed you into your room and rubbed your back.

Not that I don't love this little girl and I know you will come to love her too. Just that I realize what a shock this all is to you and how much we have disrupted your (or my?) precious routine.

I also know that this very disruption is good for both of us -- that it will make us stronger and more adaptable -- once we get to the other side of it. But, knowing this doesn't make the 'now' part any easier.

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