Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself and instead call it "ambivalence." Meh, I have to look up the spelling for both anyway.
Cassandra's cord stump fell off a few days ago and when I figured out what the heck it was, I made an involuntary, audible sad moan. Our little baby -- our newborn baby -- is just a tad less newborn now. As hard as these last two weeks or so have been for me, I realize that this time is fleeting and special.
Yeah, I know. Try living with me.